Memories Of Murder (2003)

Last night I had nightmares, it was a rough day filled with anticipation, then tension followed by an ostensive feeling of weight. Sometimes you find things don’t get resolved.

It’s amazing to me to see people out and about living their lives with a simple grace that makes everything look easy. You usually can’t see the disappointment in a person’s eyes until you have a real and intimate relationship with the emotional being of an individual, until you can relate to the thoughts that drive them and the fears that break them down. We all walk around and see the parts of other people’s lives that tell us “it should be easy.” But there will be in each of our lives a few people that we connect with much deeper than we know is possible, and it’s glory and horror at the same time. We are all the Atlas’ of our own worlds, and we hold steady, we endure, and do everything we can; we are strong willed even when we don’t feel like we can be brave. Rarely do we grow anemic and weak; but the worlds we carry change so fast and breathe and expand into immeasurable spaces. I am proud and happy with the life I have, including every imperfection.

Last night I had nightmares, into them flashed the images of death, and then that look in his face, burned into my mind. I awoke disoriented and unsure. It’s a moment that happens to us all the time when we hear a song on the radio and it weaves itself into your sleeping subconscious thoughts and your dreams start to follow melodies. My unresolved day had fused with the connection of resolutions in Joon-ho Bong’s Memories of Murder.

There was no technique to the initial investigation, and rather subtly hilarious; frame by frame gaining steam by combining two opposite emotions laughter and a dark mystery. Kang-ho Song (the Host) was the first detective, the big shot in the small town, he is led only by his instinct. He thinks rather naively that he can see guilt just by looking into the eyes of a suspect. Sang-kyung Kim plays his opposite, a detective transferred from Seoul with a sharp eye and careful technique. They are the classic detective odd-couple, working against each other in all matters as they investigate a terrible serial killer. There are some amazing shots in this film and they appear naturally and without pretension, offering some very quietly memorable moments inside the tension of the unfolding mystery.

Joon-ho Bong slowly moves this film from out-of-place laughs to an odd unfolding intensity. It’s almost as this movie understood the emotional process of my life that very day. From lightness, anticipation then crashing into tension, then the weight.

Sometimes you find things don’t get resolved, but sometimes that is alright. It can become the vehicle that helps us move into the next part of our life. We sometimes hold on to that thing or moment that is left unresolved and we will even revisit it in reflecting moments later in life, hoping for something new to happen.

Sometimes you find things don’t get resolved, and maybe we can find out that it’s better that way.

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